In February many celebrate “love” on Valentine’s day. They commemorate their couple status with presents and/or dinner. Some feel unloved or lonely if they do not have a boo, but “true love” is many-faceted. This month I invite you to discuss with me instances and examples of various kinds of “true love.” Your wisdom will enrich us all.
Let’s begin our month’s discussion of “true love” with what I call loving up. It is natural that parents’ and grandparents’ love flow down through the generations. Often, children and grandchildren are ready recipients of this love and all of its benefits, but do not make a conscious effort to show love back.
I could not find a scripture that specifically commanded children to love their parents or grandparents; to let their love flow upward. That may be because love must be given freely by one who is willing to pay the price to show love. Jesus said: “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:12-13).
My grandchildren are wonderful examples of loving upward without begging, coercing, or guilting. Let me give you a few examples:
- I love the African Fest in Forest Park and try to attend every year. This summer my children were out of town, but three of my grandchildren (25, 16, and 10 years old) picked me up, took me to the festival, catered to my needs, and brought me home safely. Loving up.
- Exhausted, I planned to spend a month at my daughter’s home in Georgia, but I was too tired to drive. My 24-year-old grandson took several days off from his two jobs to drive me there, make sure I was settled in, and flew back home. Loving up.
- At a writer’s conference we were instructed to pick three social media outlets to build a platform. While in Georgia my 23-year-old grandson set up twitter and taught me to use it, discussed my Facebook usage options, and shared how I could optimize my website. Loving up.
- I was facing a stressful medical procedure. My 25-year-old granddaughter drove me there, discussed what might happened, and made sure I was tucked in when she brought me home. Loving up.
- “Granny, will you come to my party. The ten-year-old was turning eleven and he wanted his grandmother to be one of the celebrants. Loving up.
- Today, my body is complaining: achy and stiff. This week, the Mid-America was hit with sub-zero temperatures. I needed to pick up medication from the pharmacy, but my body did not want to cooperate. My sixteen- year-old granddaughter braved the weather to get it for me. Loving up.
We short-change ourselves when we equate the love of a spouse or significant other as the only valuable love. It is a gift from God that warms the heart when the grandchildren go out of their way to show love upward. I am sure you have examples of loving up also. Please share with us.
#JoinTheConversation.
Loving up should be apparent when parents show and discuss with their children how unconditional love must be displayed in our verbal and non-verbal actions when aiding and interacting with people. I try to treat people how I want to be treated, and that’s with Love. Believing in God makes is easy for me to Love up and in all directions.
Thank you for sharing.
Dorothy thank you for Love article.Yes you are correct we as parents know how to Love up but sometimes we just don’t get it back.Sometimes we are waiting on certain people to show us love.But acts of love can come from people we least expect.Oprah stated we have to show people how we want to be treated.I look at my daughter and people say she is my clone.She really is my clone my the love she showers me with.
Deb, you are blessed to have such a loving daughter. How wonderful.
Oh, my God, I truly love this blog. I love this subject. Reading your stories of loving up with your grandchildren just brought loving tears to my eyes. I know that life so well. I have 11 amazing grandchildren. They all have different personalities and different ways that they express their love to me. Some are so funny; some serious; and some, you just have to look a little harder to see it, but it’s there nonetheless.
Two of my grandsons make sure that I am never left alone when we travel places together. They want to make sure that I don’t fall, get lost, or get mugged.
My granddaughters who are into fashion make sure that I have it altogether for a woman my age. LOL
I could go on and on and on with the stories.
Like you, I thank God for my “Grand” life.
Pastor Jethroe, Thank you for sharing. We need and want them in our lives – just in case we fall, get lost or mugged. I love it.
Dr. Haire,
Thank you for giving a rise to this specific topic of reaction and emotion as it pertains to love between the generations and Loving Up. I found it interesting that you couldn’t find a scripture that specifically commanded children to love their parents or grandparents. I guess we just assume that in their honoring and respecting us that they love us, therefore not really paying close attention to the acts of kindness they do for us. Not to say that we take them for granted, but that we haven’t looked at some of their acts as Loving Up. My 14 yr. old granddaughter lives with me, many times she takes it upon herself to carry my bible and purse into church for me, after I’m seated she then goes to youth church, I never looked at it as Loving Up. Just last week she could see I was struggling with creating a logo through a website someone suggested to me,
she asked me what I was trying to do told me she had an app on her phone that she would use to do it for me, of course I was very appreciative of that However, I never thought of it as Loving Up. This article has will have me paying more attention to Love that’s coming UP!
Thank You
Sis. Freese
Sounds like you have a very thoughtful, loving granddaughter. You are blessed.
Praise God Dr Haire. I am a mother of a 47 yr old son who live in Germany with his wife, 2 children and 4 grandchildren. I was a single parent raising my son without his father. I thank God that he was not a child that got into trouble. Don’t get me wrong he messed up, but he never talked back to me, never disrespected me and he listen to me when I corrected him. I thank God because he blessed me to be able to support him with no financial assistance from his father and my son takes care of me by giving me things that he wants me to have. My son knew that I had a small screen computer, so 6 months ago he shipped me a Apple Mac computer (really big screen). There nothing that I can call for son for if I need assistance and he is always ready to help. I’m not computer savvy, but he is and it takes me longer to follow his instructions, but he is so patient with me even when I apologize he tells me its Ok. I am so grateful to God for the gift of my son. This is my Loving Up
I appreciate the love of my two year old granddaughter as she shares her things with me. There are two sinks in the bathroom and she brings me one of the step stools for the sink. Somehow it often is the taller of the two stools so I really have to give it back. Neither one of us could reach the sink comfortably otherwise but it’s the thought that counts. What a blessing to be able to spend time with family, to enjoy their company and share in loving each other
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Colletta, this is a precious story. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Such a thought-provoking article helping us to realize that love is all around us. My 2 grandsons, ages 8 and 12 are always wanting to know if I’m okay and if I need their help. They open doors, carry my bags and help in so many ways for their age. I’m even thankful for their willingness to do those things that they’re not yet able to do, but just want to make sure that I am provided for and protected. Looking forward to the future years as they continue to show their acts of love and kindness. Tomorrows will only be better because the foundation is being laid.
Shirley Ingram, thank you for sharing with us how your grandsons show love to you. Also, thank you for your wisdom: “Tomorrows will only be better because the foundation is being laid.” Amen.